Thinking patterns in children and how you can help.
Accessed from : http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/teenagers_stress.html March 29, 2017
Some common unhelpful thinking patterns are:
mind-reading, or expecting other people to have a bad opinion of you – for example, ‘They think I’m stupid’, ‘She thinks I’m no good at anything’
thinking things will always go wrong – for example, ‘Things never work out for me’, ‘Everyone is always against me’, ‘I’ll never be able to …’
labeling yourself – for example, ‘I’m no good’, ‘I’m stupid’, ‘I’m hopeless’
absolute thinking – for example, ‘I have to do it this way’, ‘This will never work’
fortune-telling or expecting the worst – for example, ‘I’m sure to mess this up’, ‘It’s not going to work out anyway’, ‘I’m going to feel awful when it doesn’t happen’
all-or-nothing thinking – for example, ‘He does everything right, and I always get it wrong’, ‘It has to be perfect’, ‘If only I had done it that way, it would be OK’.
Speaking to you or someone else can help your child to see that there are other ways of thinking about a situation. You and your child could try these steps to change unhelpful thinking patterns:
With your child, work out what’s causing the stress – for example, your child gets a last-minute text from a friend to cancel an outing.
Encourage your child to list the thoughts connected to this situation or event – for example, ‘He doesn’t really like me’, ‘She should have told me sooner’, ‘My day’s ruined’.
Help your child decide if the thoughts are helpful – for example, how does your child know his friend doesn’t like him? Is it possible the friend couldn’t have told him sooner? Are there other good things your child could do with the day?
Encourage your child to suggest some other thoughts – for example, ‘I don’t really know why he cancelled – there could be an emergency’, ‘Life has its ups and downs’, ‘I can go out anyway’, ‘This gives me time to do other things’, ‘I’m disappointed but I can cope’, or ‘We can go out together another day’.
Help your child notice that when he changes his unhelpful thinking, his feelings also change – usually for the better.
